A dying US man who wanted to set a "new standard" for obituaries by writing his own told readers he didn't actually have a PhD, had been banned for life from Disneyland and SeaWorld and had stolen a safe as a youth.
Utah's Val "Rocky" Patterson, 59, started writing the memorial to himself after being diagnosed with the throat cancer that killed him on July 10.
Wife Mary Jane Patterson told the Salt Lake Tribune her husband thought most obituaries read like boring resumes and just added to their grieving families' stress.
"He wanted to set a new standard on how obituaries should be written," his wife said.
The obituary has gone viral, crashing the Starks Funeral Parlor's website.
The self-described "true scientist" described a life fulfilled after he travelled, worked, learned and fixed everything he wanted to and married a "remarkable wife" who he "loved more than words can say".
"Every moment spent with my Mary Jane was time spent wisely," he wrote.
He then went on to make a few "confessions".
"As it turns out, I AM the guy who stole the safe from the Motor View Drive Inn back in June, 1971," he wrote.
"I could have left that unsaid, but I wanted to get it off my chest."
He added that he had been sent a PhD diploma after an administrative error, gotten on the wrong side of a park ranger by throwing rocks into Old Faithful geyser and been banned from both Disneyland and SeaWorld.
"To Disneyland — you can now throw away that 'Banned for Life' file you have on me, I'm not a problem anymore — and SeaWorld San Diego, too, if you read this."
Mrs Patterson revealed that some of the details in the obituary did not exactly match up with reality.
The university had not actually sent Mr Patterson a diploma — they had just mistakenly referred to him as "Dr Val Patterson, PhD" on mail.
However, he did get banned from Disneyland after he and his brother jumped off the Peter Pan ride and vandalised some props and he did anger the park ranger at Old Faithful.
The safe-stealing incident was true too — but the fact he had been charged and found guilty for it was no secret.
"Everybody who knew Val just knew that’s how he was," Mrs Patterson told the Salt Lake Tribune.
"I guess he is getting the last laugh, his 15 minutes of fame. I am not sure he would really like it because we are pretty private people. He wanted a good reaction, but I don’t think he expected this."
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